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Hi! We’re Emma and Fin! We’re a married couple in our thirties who have been exploring non-monogamy for over 15 years. Every week we interview people from across the spectrums of gender, sexuality, and relationship styles to hear their amazing stories. Many of our guests identify as swingers or polyamorous. However, quite a few have redefined non-monogamy in their own way by creating a unique dynamic that works for them. We hope that by giving a voice to the diverse community exploring non-monogamy that we can show people they are not alone and inspire them to embrace their true selves so that, together, we can open minds and live authentically without shame. We hope you enjoy the show and who knows, maybe someday you’ll even be up for sharing your own story. We’d love to hear it!
Episodes
Wednesday May 29, 2024
Wednesday May 29, 2024
Mrs. N and Mr. N have been together nearly twenty years and started fantasizing together early on in their partnership. Their rich fantasy life together eventually turned into a reality a few years into their relationship. Things moved very slowly for years and eventually they found their sweet spot exploring swinging and hotwifing, or as they like to call it... "The Naughty Hobby"
Their journeys in non-monogamy have been powerful in many ways for both of them. Before meeting one another, Mrs. N suffered with extreme pain during sex for many years and it created an immense amount of shame in her around sex and intimacy. The openness and communication they've fostered has helped them both heal physically and emotionally as they've grown closer together while adventuring together!
These two have also been busy helping others... They host a podcast and have written a book both under the name Vanilla to Vixen where they take listeners behind the scenes of their healing journey together. Definitely check out their podcast and pick up a copy of their book!
Friday May 24, 2024
Friday May 24, 2024
Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month!
Today's questions are about tips and strategies for navigating drop AND embracing mismatched libidos in a triad.
If YOU have a question, we'd love to hear it! Please, ask us anything by clicking here!
We are super excited to be partnering with Meshai for the Ask Us Anything episodes! She first appeared on the podcast on Episode 233 and we're honored to have her back!
Meshai is relationship coach with the team at Expansive Connection. She believes in the power of living as one’s authentic self, and the freedom that comes from changing perspectives. She loves putting the puzzle pieces of a couple's sexual energy together and aiding them in positive and explorative movement.
Her coaching work implements creative synergy, openness, self-expression, and the confrontation of challenges through self-determination. She helps individuals from diverse populations move forward with their goals while being fully aware that trauma can play on the whole person.
Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy.
You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I also completed a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute in March 2024!
Wednesday May 22, 2024
Wednesday May 22, 2024
Like many of us, Brett started initially exploring non-monogamy before he had the language to describe it or a framework to understand it. Initially, he was in a long-distance relationship that had an agreement around being open. He eventually moved to the San Francisco Bay Area where his relational world opened up even further.
Upon arriving in The Bay, Brett found himself living with a polyamorous couple, exploring the the vibrant play party scene, and getting involved with various Burning Man communities. All of these experiences helped open Brett up to a world of diverse relationship models that he continues to explore as he strives to hone a never-ending list of relational skills.
In 2022 Brett founded the Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-monogamy (OPEN). OPEN is a nonprofit organization dedicated to normalizing and empowering non-monogamous individuals, relationships, and communities. More than that, they’re a movement of people working toward a future where romantic and intimate relationships between consenting adults are accepted and protected regardless of relationship structure, gender identity, or sexual orientation. Please check out the incredible work they're doing and find out how you can impact change as well!
Wednesday May 15, 2024
Wednesday May 15, 2024
Jessica is in her mid-thirties and has been practicing non-monogamy for over 11 years. From a very young age she decided she didn't want to follow the traditional relationship scripts and norms that most people do.
When she started dating in college, she was very intentional about moving into non-monogamy with her partner from the very beginning of their relationship. Even though they were very intentional about what they were doing and how they were relating, they didn't have the words or language to describe it. In the beginning, they were pretty much making it up as they went.
Jessica and her partner started off dating together and eventually learned about many different ways of being open. This led her to discover relationship anarchy and the relationship anarchy smorgasbord. Today, Jessica is open to the ebb and flow of life and relationships. She focuses a lot of her social energy on fostering deep friendships and community as she lets relationships take the form that makes the most sense for each one.
Jessica's passion for community and helping others is inspirational and goes beyond her personal life. She also volunteers on the board for a Seattle-based non-profit called Evergreen Hearts. Their mission is to empower people who practice non-traditional relationship styles to build community and grow relationship skills through social functions, educational events, and educational resources. We encourage you to check out the incredible work they're doing to build and support community.
Wednesday May 08, 2024
Wednesday May 08, 2024
Abbey and Liam have been together for over 12 years and in an open relationship for about 10 of them. They initially started by exploring the idea as a fantasy through talking and sharing sexy stories back and forth on a private Tumblr page.
Eventually, the fantasy turned into "Hey... Ya know, we could actually do this." which inspired them to begin exploring the New York City swinging world as they slowly opened their relationship. Today, their flavor of non-monogamy is a fluid negotiation between the two of them depending on what life looks like and what they're both wanting and needing.
In today's beautiful interview they share about the power of forming deep friendships and community, how coming out changed their lives and allowed them to be honest about who they are, and how they thrive at being loving parents to their kiddo while navigating multiple relationships!
If you can't get enough of Abbey and Liam, you're in luck! For the last few years they've been creating a powerful resource called the Evolving Love Project where they explore the topics of authentic and open relationships, sex positivity, parenting and empowered birth through a podcast, events, retreats, writing, and community! Definitely check it out!
Wednesday May 01, 2024
Wednesday May 01, 2024
Daniel feels he was born polyamorous but it took him until about eight years ago to stop conforming to monogamy. He was in a monogamous partnership for about 18 years which transitioned into a beautiful friendship that has lasted until today, instead of just blowing up in a spiteful mess. This was his catalyst to exploring different ways of relating and ultimately polyamory.
At the core of Daniel's story is an incredibly beautiful journey of self-discovery, personal exploration and growth. This is a powerful and vulnerable interview and we hope you enjoy it as much as we did!
Friday Apr 26, 2024
Friday Apr 26, 2024
Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month!
Today's questions are about how to persevere when it feels like it's been hard for a while AND what information is ours to share about our partners and how do we do it in a way that feels good for them.
If YOU have a question, we'd love to hear it! Please, ask us anything by clicking here!
We are super excited to be partnering with Meshai for the Ask Us Anything episodes! She first appeared on the podcast on Episode 233 and we're honored to have her back!
Meshai is relationship coach with the team at Expansive Connection. She believes in the power of living as one’s authentic self, and the freedom that comes from changing perspectives. She loves putting the puzzle pieces of a couple's sexual energy together and aiding them in positive and explorative movement.
Her coaching work implements creative synergy, openness, self-expression, and the confrontation of challenges through self-determination. She helps individuals from diverse populations move forward with their goals while being fully aware that trauma can play on the whole person.
Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy.
You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I also completed a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute in March 2024!
Wednesday Apr 24, 2024
Wednesday Apr 24, 2024
Megan and Brett have been together for over 18 years and have been married for over 13. The idea of non-monogamy marinated in the background of their relationship for many years before they sort of both leaned into it around the same time a few years ago. They opened their relationship in a slow and calculated way and now find themselves in the beautiful grey area where they're a little too swingery for the polyamorous people, a little too polyamorous for the swinging community, a bit too kinky to consider themselves vanilla, and a bit too vanilla to call themselves kinky! Today, they take us on their beautiful journey of growing together though both the great times and the more challenging ones.
Wednesday Apr 17, 2024
Wednesday Apr 17, 2024
Kat is a polyamorous queer woman in her mid-thirties who has been pushing against the status quo her whole life as she strives to be her authentic self and live a life full of joy.
Kat grew up in the Baptist Church and had even taken a vow of chastity when she was 14. Also, things aren't quite that straightforward... Her first make-out session was with a group of friends before they all went to the movies in high school, she came out to her mom as bisexual when she was 16, and her first time having sex was in a threesome while living in Europe. So, perhaps the norms aren't a good fit for everyone?
Kat has truly lived a life of adventure. She's lived all over the world and explored a wide range of relationship styles from monogamy to various forms of non-monogamy and kink.
Kat is also an LGBTQIA+, kink, and non-monogamy-affirmative therapist who provides online therapy for adults, romantic partners, and chosen family. She specializes in empowering people to work through shame, anxiety, depression, ADHD, coming out, and relational issues. You can learn more about Kat and how to work with her by clicking here!
Wednesday Apr 10, 2024
Wednesday Apr 10, 2024
Mara and Mike have been together for almost 25 years and married for almost 20 of them... They've also been in some form of an open relationship pretty much the entire time.
Lucky for us, they've organized their relationship into six phases! They walk us through each phase as they share all of the different ways they've related to one another and with themselves. We cover everything from their early days of swinging, the challenging duality of being a professional and a parent while also being adventurous and slutty, processing shame, and adapting their relationship and communication styles to better fit who they are as a team, and as individuals.
We're excited to share this beautiful journey with you and we hope you enjoy it!