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Hi! We’re Emma and Fin! We’re a married couple in our thirties who have been exploring non-monogamy for over 15 years. Every week we interview people from across the spectrums of gender, sexuality, and relationship styles to hear their amazing stories. Many of our guests identify as swingers or polyamorous. However, quite a few have redefined non-monogamy in their own way by creating a unique dynamic that works for them. We hope that by giving a voice to the diverse community exploring non-monogamy that we can show people they are not alone and inspire them to embrace their true selves so that, together, we can open minds and live authentically without shame. We hope you enjoy the show and who knows, maybe someday you’ll even be up for sharing your own story. We’d love to hear it!
Episodes
6 days ago
6 days ago
"It only takes one person to make change, and I'll try." Janiqueel's approach to love and life is so incredibly powerful and beautiful. Janiqueel started exploring non-monogamy about a decade ago and most closely identifies as solo poly. This conversation is essentially a master class in empathy, compassion, and having both while setting boundaries so you can live the life you want. It's definitely not easy, but it is amazing.
We also highly encourage you to go check out Janiqueel's work, blog, and social media. It is all so impressive and full of such positive vibes and love. You can find everything over at www.janiqueel.com.
Wednesday Mar 15, 2023
Wednesday Mar 15, 2023
This wonderful conversation with Laura has a little bit of everything! She's been exploring non-monogamy for over 15 years and has done so in a wide variety of polyamorous dynamics. Together we talk about her experiences co-parenting in a V-relationship, confronting guilt and shame, and consciously exploring sexuality. And of course, so much more. A bit more about Laura in her own words, copied from her website www.readyforpolyamory.com...
Laura Boyle is an advocate for relationship anarchy and educator on topics under the umbrellas of polyamory and consensual non-monogamy. She also offers classes on sex education, kink, boundaries and cooperative negotiation skills. She found polyamory at university in Montreal in the mid aughts. After returning to the States, where she found local polyam community while completing law school and building her family, she saw a void in relationship education. She began offering classes on the possibilities and pitfalls of different structures of polyamorous relationships. Chronic illness that advanced into disability (and a sprinkle of global pandemic) created the opportunity to pivot a part-time passion into her primary focus. In this time she launched the successful Ready for Polyamory blog and podcast, had several brain surgeries, and expanded her reach nationally and internationally. She published her first book, Ready for Polyamory: A Pragmatic Guide to Consensual Non-Monogamy in September 2021, has been privileged to support dozens of polyamorous individuals and polycules through various phases of their relationships for the past several years, and is excited to be teaching both digitally and in person.
Wednesday Mar 08, 2023
Wednesday Mar 08, 2023
Life is an adventure... And that's exactly how Jill and Stephen live it. These two have been best friends since they met, married over 18 years, and adventuring together the whole time from exploring Europe to opening a bakery. They opened their relationship almost immediately, but moved slowly with it. To their cores, they truly just want the other person to be happy.
They've explored a wide variety of non-monogamous flavors, from swinging to polyamory, and mostly just try to embrace the freedom of letting each relationship be its own. We have great conversations on hierarchy, logistics, coming into your own, kids, and so much more. Also, you're definitely going to want to stick around until the end when they talk about the exchange between Stephen and his young daughter. It's beautiful.
Jill is also a Certified Death Doula and does some wildly powerful work. She talks about it towards the end of the interview and we also encourage you to go check out her work at End of Life Clarity.
Wednesday Mar 01, 2023
Wednesday Mar 01, 2023
This conversation with Brian is so amazing and covers so many facets of relating to other humans, regardless of your relationship dynamic. Brian is a cis, queer, polyamorous, sex and relationship educator who grew up evangelical Christian and came out as queer in 2004. He's been with his partner for over 14 years and they slowly opened their relationship about a year into it. And today, he is also one of the co-founders of queertheology.com!
One of the things we love about talking with Brian is how he weaves incredible learning moments into all of his experiences in life. We have great conversations on hierarchy, communication, rules and constraints, labels, the power of fluidity in relationships, and the intersection of spirituality and non-monogamy... All packed into one podcast!
A bit more about Brian that we borrowed from his website:
Brian G. Murphy is an activist, educator, and certified relationship coach. He studied film production and religion at the University of Southern California as a Presidential Scholar and was inducted into Theta Alpha Kappa, the national honor society for religious studies and theology.
Before turning to activism, Brian worked in Hollywood on a number of film and television projects and produced a pilot for a national broadcast network. He received nonviolence training through Soulforce, media training from GLAAD, and participated in the 2007 Equality Ride, engaging in direct action activism at anti-LGBTQ colleges in the USA.
Today he is the co-founder of QueerTheology.com, a resource hub, podcast, and online community, which explores how queerness and spirituality enrich one another; and Relationshift, a relationship coaching practice helping LGBTQ+ and polyamorous people build thriving relationships on their own terms.
He is co-author of Queers The Word and a sought-after speaker at colleges, churches, and conferences across the country. Brian has worked with GLSEN, Athlete Ally, Born This Way Foundation, and the Human Rights Campaign, as well as a number of local, grassroots organizations. His work has been featured in Vice, BuzzFeed, The Huffington Post, The Advocate, Upworthy, and NBC News.
Wednesday Feb 22, 2023
Wednesday Feb 22, 2023
Sara is an amazing, community-building badass! She's been exploring non-monogamy since 2006 when she and her husband decided to open their marriage after reading Stranger in a Strange Land. Fast forward to today and Sara has navigated opening a marriage, having a child, transitioning her marriage to co-parenting, solo polyamory, and nesting again with a different partner. Sara talks about her journey in a way that beautifully weaves her story with valuable learning opportunities around everything from codependency to the importance of community.
Sara is also the co-creator of Southwest Love Fest. She and Kate (Ep. 274) have spent the last four years building an incredible community-driven conference in Tucson, AZ. In short, Southwest Love Fest is an annual conference on relationships, identity, community, and non-monogamy. We are presenting a workshop at this year's conference. If you'd like to join us and save 10%, use the code EMMA at checkout!
Wednesday Feb 15, 2023
Wednesday Feb 15, 2023
We rarely recommend gathering your kids for one of our interviews, but here we are. We'll wait for you to wrangle the whole family. Got everyone? Good.
Susan has been exploring non-monogamy for over 30 years in a beautifully fluid dynamic that blends swinging, kink, and polyamory together. She elegantly weaves her personal story in with the powerful activist work she has done to make the world a better place for people in the ethically non-monogamous and kink scenes. Along the way we talk about building community, being outed, the power of labels, living life to the fullest, and adventuring! Did we mention this conversation is fantastic?
Non-monogamy isn't just a hobby for Susan... It's her life's work. She founded the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom back in 1997 and has spent the last 25+ years advocating for consenting adults in the kink and non-monogamy lifestyles by fighting discrimination and persecution through direct services. Please go support all of the critical work that Susan and the NCSF are doing.
Wednesday Feb 08, 2023
Wednesday Feb 08, 2023
Kate was accidentally monogamous for a bit, but as long she can remember, non-monogamy has been who she is. She's a mother of two, a community leader and builder, a therapist, and an all around kick-ass human. We have some amazing conversations with her about her time at the Kinsey Institute, relating to metamours, how attachment styles manifest in her relationships, community parenting, and the power of community.
If all of that wasn't enough for you, Kate is also the co-creator of Southwest Love Fest! SWLF is an annual conference on relationships, identity, community, and non-monogamy. We highly recommend checking it out, not just because Kate is amazing, but because we'll be running a workshop there in April! For more info and how to save 10% when you sign up, check out the links below!
Wednesday Feb 01, 2023
Wednesday Feb 01, 2023
Libby and Cal have been playing music together for the last five years and about three years ago they stopped fighting their urges and embarked on a romantic partnership as well. On Libby's side, she has never been in an officially monogamous relationship. For Cal, he's always felt he was non-monogamous but didn't have the language or framework for it until about a decade ago when he got out of his marriage.
We have so many amazing conversations with Libby and Cal during this interview. They share with us how they were able to transition from a working relationship to adding a romantic one. We also talk about navigating polyamory as a very shy person. And, we touch on how these two balance everything in their lives. As Libby says, her life is "3 partners, 3 children, 4 chickens, and a cat!"
Libby and Cal are also incredible musicians! Their latest album has some non-monogamous undertones (and tones in general) and is called "If You've Given Up on Love then Let's Call it Something Else"... Check out and support their work on Libby's website!
Wednesday Jan 25, 2023
Wednesday Jan 25, 2023
Casey and her husband have an absolutely incredible story. They met during a blind date threesome, ended up getting married a few years later, and are now exploring a hotwife dynamic together. However, the insight and power in this conversation reaches far beyond hotwifing and swinging. We don't dig into the sexy stuff together, we dig into the emotions, the feelings, and some really big challenges she, and they, have overcome.
Casey explored the swinging lifestyle for almost two decades as a solo female/unicorn before meeting her husband (who was also exploring the lifestyle as a solo person). After coming together, they crafted a dynamic that worked for them both. And then the world shut down and their world was turned upside down. At that point, she lost her sex drive and they had to tear their relationship down to the basics... Literally practicing holding hands and cuddling for months to rebuild their connection.
Casey is incredibly vulnerable with us about what her journey has been like exploring the swinging lifestyle for nearly twenty years. She talks about the emotional impact it had on her, the judgment and confusion she experienced, and how being a unicorn helped her to really find herself. She also talks about how the lifestyle has given her and her partner the tools to study one another and drive each other wild while experiencing new adventures through trial and error, and so much more. Truly, this episode is about so much more than being a hotwife...
If you need more Casey in your life, definitely go check out all of her work. She's written three books about her journey and she is crushing it on Only Fans as well. Here is a link to all of her work!
Wednesday Jan 18, 2023
Wednesday Jan 18, 2023
Cat and EJ are back after 252 episodes and almost a full five years! They first came on the show back on episode 19... Way way back! No need to go back and listen if you haven't yet, we'll catch you up and you can go listen afterwards. We promise you'll want to.
This conversation picks up Cat and EJ's journey where we left off back in 2018. They were just at the start of transitioning from a swinging-style approach to non-monogamy to more of a polyamorous dynamic. They were just learning words like "boundaries" back then! Hey, who isn't, these days?!
We get an amazing update on how the journey has been going and what other big life changes have happened along the way. There's a few! We also have great conversations on the boundaries we mentioned before, ask vs. guess culture, different types of desires, and how the pandemic impacted, and possibly even rejuvenated their relationship!
Another big change is EJ's career... He's now a Licensed Master Social Worker with a prior background of 20+ years in the military, followed by current experiences working with a diverse intersection of individuals and relationships, focused on improving their ability to communicate productively. Together with another former guest, they're hosting some incredible virtual intimacy workshops. Click here to learn more and to support their work!