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Hi! We’re Emma and Fin! We’re a married couple in our thirties who have been exploring non-monogamy for over 15 years. Every week we interview people from across the spectrums of gender, sexuality, and relationship styles to hear their amazing stories. Many of our guests identify as swingers or polyamorous. However, quite a few have redefined non-monogamy in their own way by creating a unique dynamic that works for them. We hope that by giving a voice to the diverse community exploring non-monogamy that we can show people they are not alone and inspire them to embrace their true selves so that, together, we can open minds and live authentically without shame. We hope you enjoy the show and who knows, maybe someday you’ll even be up for sharing your own story. We’d love to hear it!
Episodes
Friday Jul 26, 2024
Friday Jul 26, 2024
Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month! However... This month we have a special guest!
Today's questions are all about compersion and we have one of the world's leading experts on the subject joining us! Dr. Marie Thouin is a dating and relationship coach as well as the author of the new book "What is compersion?" You can learn more about Marie and her work at www.whatiscompersion.com.
You can also save 25% if you order your copy of her book using the link and code below!
(Use code RLFANDF25 to save 25%)
If YOU have a question, we'd love to hear it! Please, ask us anything by clicking here!
We are super excited to be partnering with Meshai for the Ask Us Anything episodes! She first appeared on the podcast on Episode 233 and we're honored to have her back!
Meshai is relationship coach with the team at Expansive Connection. She believes in the power of living as one’s authentic self, and the freedom that comes from changing perspectives. She loves putting the puzzle pieces of a couple's sexual energy together and aiding them in positive and explorative movement.
Her coaching work implements creative synergy, openness, self-expression, and the confrontation of challenges through self-determination. She helps individuals from diverse populations move forward with their goals while being fully aware that trauma can play on the whole person.
Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy.
You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I also completed a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute in March 2024!
Wednesday Jul 24, 2024
Wednesday Jul 24, 2024
Today's interview with Flora and Andy is so full of love and zest for life! The last seven years have been full of adventure for these two... They met on Grinder in 2017, got married a few years later, and then a few years ago decided to open their relationship up after a series of infidelities.
Today they practice their own form of non-hierarchical polyamory after trying out different flavors of non-monogamy along the way. They take us inside their partnership and share how they rebuilt everything in spite of the infidelities and all of the self-discovery and growth that they both did to get to where they are today.
Flora and Andy also share with us how they've persevered and supported one another as a multicultural trans and non-binary queer couple exploring the world of sex, dating, relationships, and life. When they're not sharing their life story on our podcast, you can find Flora and Andy on Instagram where they do powerful work helping organizations and companies be more inclusive to queer communities. Please check out their work and enjoy this interview with Flora and Andy!
Check out the full show notes here.
Click here to join our upcoming Bay Area Retreat - Sept. 13-15, 2024
Wednesday Jul 17, 2024
Wednesday Jul 17, 2024
From a very young age Sandy had lots of crushes, loved kissing boys, and felt very free. Unfortunately, she learned very quickly how judgmental people are when she started getting called names at school and the shame started to creep in. She learned to hide parts of herself in order to fit in during high school but then in college she learned that "being queer" was actually a thing.
Sandy is an incredible storyteller and today's interview is full of love, laughter, and deep emotion. Sandy takes us on her powerful journey of discovering who she is and how to truly be herself while constantly fighting the shame from friends, family, and the world around her.
Today, she describes herself as a queer solo polyamorous woman who is a queen bee with lots of little honey bees buzzing around her. She weaves so many fantastic lessons, tools, tricks, and strategies into her amazing story of life and adventure! Enjoy!
Dr. Sandy Peace is a psychologist, sex therapist, trained sex educator, provides trainings for mental health professionals on working with polyamorous clients, and facilitates polyamory support/discussion groups. She presented her doctoral dissertation research – "Toward a Model of Polyamorous Identity Development" – at the first International Academic Polyamory Conference at U.C. Berkeley in 2012. To learn more about Sandy and to work with her, please check out her website!
Check out the full show notes here.
Click here to sign up our FREE Week of Visibility Workshop!
Click here to join our upcoming Bay Area Retreat - Sept. 13-15, 2024
Wednesday Jul 10, 2024
Wednesday Jul 10, 2024
Billy is a bit of a self-described hopeless romantic with a romanticized view of love and relationships. He tried out monogamy for about 14 months as a freshman in college, however, having lots of sex and sexual adventures was never really his goal (not that he's complaining). He would often find himself falling for women and when he'd share his feelings they'd express their interest in continuing to hookup, but not so much with the emotional stuff.
We have some amazing conversations in this interview with Billy. He digs into how he cultivated an abundance mindset around sex, even though everyone in high school predicted he'd be a 40-year old virgin. We also talk about not getting boxed in by labels and identities, and we have a great conversation about all of the societal messaging we get about how to be a "good partner."
Taken right from Billy's website...
In 2014, comedian Billy Procida started interviewing his exes about sex, dating, gender…and why they didn’t work out. After being dismissed in his early 20s as a “manwhore”, he worried if he was already too slutty to love at 24-years-old. So he sought out answers from the source!
Now, Billy hosts sex-positive conversations with comedians, sex educators, porn stars, actors, authors, dating experts, models and more! With millions of downloads, The Manwhore Podcast has been named a top sex/dating podcast by Esquire, Uproxx, and Men’s Health.
Please head over to www.manwhorepod.com to check out all of Billy's work!
Check out the full show notes here.
Click here to sign up our FREE Week of Visibility Workshop!
Click here to join our upcoming Bay Area Retreat - Sept. 13-15, 2024
Wednesday Jul 03, 2024
Wednesday Jul 03, 2024
Our conversation today with Kathy is so beautiful, full of energy, and powerful. She is a vibrant 49 year old bisexual proud mother of a newly minted teen and she has been "officially" exploring non-monogamy for the last few years. Yet, as you'll hear, Kathy has always been a bit rebellious and unconventional. She loves to play and experiment, and she lives life very intentionally.
Kathy is currently going through a "slow divorce" over the course of multiple years as she and her husband work together with a therapist to simultaneously heal and transition their partnership. During this process, their therapist has helped them both seek out what living authentically would look like... For Kathy, that meant finally exploring non-monogamy. She's always had a desire and preference for non-monogamy but put that desire aside to start a family under the assumption that it would happen sometime in the future. And now, the future is here and she's loving it!
As unconventional and rebellious as Kathy is, she's had to heal many parts of herself along her journey. It hasn't been easy, and she takes us through her powerful and inspiring life story with such levity and vulnerability. We hope you enjoy this interview as much as we did.
Check out the full show notes here.
Click here to sign up our FREE Week of Visibility Workshop!
Click here to join our upcoming Bay Area Retreat - Sept. 13-15, 2024
Friday Jun 28, 2024
Friday Jun 28, 2024
Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month!
Today's questions are about exploring swinging while also in a quad and whether or not size matters and impacts men's ability to find success in the lifestyle.
If YOU have a question, we'd love to hear it! Please, ask us anything by clicking here!
We are super excited to be partnering with Meshai for the Ask Us Anything episodes! She first appeared on the podcast on Episode 233 and we're honored to have her back!
Meshai is relationship coach with the team at Expansive Connection. She believes in the power of living as one’s authentic self, and the freedom that comes from changing perspectives. She loves putting the puzzle pieces of a couple's sexual energy together and aiding them in positive and explorative movement.
Her coaching work implements creative synergy, openness, self-expression, and the confrontation of challenges through self-determination. She helps individuals from diverse populations move forward with their goals while being fully aware that trauma can play on the whole person.
Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy.
You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I also completed a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute in March 2024!
Wednesday Jun 26, 2024
Wednesday Jun 26, 2024
Michael and his wife have been exploring non-monogamy since just before they got married about seven years ago. The conversation initially came up after an infidelity which set them on a path of healing, rebuilding, and ultimately exploration.
This week’s interview is a little different than our normal interviews as it focuses a bit less on Michael’s personal journey while we dig into how Michael and his wife used their early experiences in exploring the play party scene in LA to craft an interactive play party experience of their own that blends performance art into a sensually curated environment to create deeper connection.
Michael is the founder and creative director of The Play in Los Angeles. Definitely check out the amazing work he is doing to take the play party experience to the next level!
Check out the full show notes here.
Click here to sign up our FREE Week of Visibility Workshop!
Click here to join our upcoming Bay Area Retreat - Sept. 13-15, 2024
Wednesday Jun 19, 2024
Wednesday Jun 19, 2024
Taylor and Kuran have been together since 2017 and have an incredibly unique and beautiful relationship dynamic. We talk with lots of people in mono/poly dynamics, where one person is monogamous and the other is polyamorous... However, it's rare to find a monogamous person in this type of relationship that's as enthusiastically supportive, excited, and full of compersion as Kuran is for Taylor!
He initially brought up the idea of opening their partnership in 2021 as a way to explore his interest in hotwifing. However, Taylor quickly learned that she desires deeper connections. Over the last few years they've been on a journey together creating something that seems to defy nearly every single relationship norm and expectation imaginable.
Taylor and Kuran share how their dynamic injects a spark of electricity into their partnership and how they fully support each other in being whole humans as they raise their four kids (all under the age of six!). We absolutely love this conversation and their enthusiasm and excitement for the life they've built!
Check out the full show notes here.
Click here to sign up our FREE Week of Visibility Workshop!
Click here to join our upcoming Bay Area Retreat - Sept. 13-15, 2024
Wednesday Jun 12, 2024
Wednesday Jun 12, 2024
Aria is a bisexual, demisexual, sapiosexual, polyamorous, queer woman who's been exploring non-monogamy for over a decade. During our conversation she takes us through her beautiful story and how she's come to discover all of these amazing parts of herself along her journey. Her flavor of non-monogamy has gone through many iterations over the years and she shares many of the lessons and tools she's learned along the way.
Aria is also a trauma-informed relationship coach and somatic facilitator, helping people practicing non-monogamy deepen self awareness, overcome insecurities and enhance communication skills to create more liberated relationships that feel expansive and nourishing. You can learn more about her work over at ariadiana.com.
Check out the full show notes here.
Click here to join our upcoming Bay Area Retreat - Sept. 13-15, 2024
Wednesday Jun 05, 2024
Wednesday Jun 05, 2024
Ally has been exploring non-monogamy for about the past eight years but her fascination with relationships and human connection started quite early in life. As she explains it, she never really had the "cooties phase" growing up. Yet, like many of us, she learned to hide her sexuality early on, as well.
Up until 2016 Ally's primary relationship style was serial monogamy. This ultimately led her to have a conversation with a partner about opening their relationship. They came up with some agreements and when she had her first experience it turned out to be a test from him and ended the relationship. However, Ally learned a lot about herself through the experience which eventually led her into the sex and play party scene where her whole world opened up.
This interview with Ally is full of beautiful stories, experiences, and life lessons. We have incredible conversations about compersion, chemistry, compatibility, and... How chemistry and compatibility are very different from one another.
Ally Iseman is the Founder of Passport 2 Pleasure, through which she offers concierge guidance and online courses and resources for couples and individuals exploring healthy non-monogamy and alternative relationship dynamics. She has been a speaker, community organizer, and non-monogamy educator and practitioner since 2016, committed to promoting consensual, empowered, and respectful interactions as a leader within the sex-positive space. As a certified consent and communication specialist and respected non-monogamy ‘sexpert’, Ally sits on the executive leadership board of one of LA’s most distinguished sex-positive nightlife events. She regularly shares her insights on podcasts and at live events, and has been quoted in numerous consumer and industry-facing publications, further solidifying her reputation as a knowledgeable and influential voice on the subject of non-monogamy and alternative relationship dynamics.