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Hi! We’re your hosts Emma and Fin! We’re a married couple in our late thirties and we’ve been exploring non-monogamy in different ways since nearly the beginning of our relationship more than twenty years ago. But, this podcast isn’t about us…
We strongly believe there isn’t a “right way” to be non-monogamous or even that non-monogamy is better or more evolved than monogamy or any other relationship style. Every week we interview people from across the spectrums of gender, sexuality, and relationship style to learn from their incredible and powerful personal stories.
Each episode is a unique perspective and personal story… Pick one that sounds interesting and give it a listen!
We hope that by sharing the amazing journeys of those who are redefining and pushing the limits of what’s possible in relationships that we can show people that they’re not alone and inspire us all to embrace our true selves so that, together, we can open minds and live authentically without shame.
Episodes
Wednesday Aug 17, 2022
Wednesday Aug 17, 2022
Pan is in his late thirties and has been exploring non-monogamy since his marriage ended a few years ago. He describes himself as a kinky, sapiosexual, and solo polyamorist who is excited to explore what life has to offer. Pan has done a ton of self-work on codependencies, being confident in who he is, learning about consent, and diving into BDSM. We have so many amazing conversations in this interview that rather than continue to read this, we suggest you just come on in and listen.
Wednesday Aug 10, 2022
Wednesday Aug 10, 2022
This conversation with Bre is amazing! It's full of energy, love, and great vibes! Bre is in her mid-thirties and has done a bit of it all... She's explored swinging, poly, kink, and even did a burlesque performance at her baby shower! We talk about it all, plus we get into her experiences co-parenting in a triad, living intentionally, how her body and sexuality changed after having a baby, healing, and of course boundaries. We also have a wonderful chat about conscious play parties vs. swinging parties. Again, this conversation is fantastic and so much fun! Enjoy! Bre is also a relationship coach and you can find her work at Liberate Your Love.
Wednesday Aug 03, 2022
Wednesday Aug 03, 2022
Kristin and Adam have been together about 20 years and have always loved exploring together. They discovered swinging early in their relationship but didn't really have a label for what they were doing. They were just kind of figuring it out and living life. By their own admission, it was messy. There have been lots of opportunities for learning and growing together. And that's exactly what they keep doing. They've circled back around to non-monogamy in the last few years and are continuing to figure out what flavor best suits them. They live in the blurry place between casual swinging experiences and seeking deeper connections that sometimes feel more polyamorous. We love their openness and vulnerability in sharing with us, and you. Enjoy!
Wednesday Jul 27, 2022
Wednesday Jul 27, 2022
Bex is back and this time we're digging into his personal story! We had Bex on a few months back to talk all about sexting and now we get a behind-the-scenes look at Bex's journey. As best he can remember, the last and only time he's had a monogamous relationship was in his early twenties. He has a vulnerable and honest conversation with us about how his attachment style and avoidance have impacted his relationships. We dig into hierarchy, jealousy, kink, and kitchen table poly. Bex also shares some beautiful thoughts on his own transition and how he's never hated his own body or felt like he was in the wrong body, even as a trans guy. We love this conversation and hope you do as well. After you listen, head over to Bex's website to check out and support all of his work, including the Dildorks podcast!
From his website, www.bextalkssex.com:
Bex Caputo is a sex educator, blogger, speaker, podcaster, and professional pervert. He’s been a proud and undeniable kinkster ever since he insisted on being served his meals in a dog bowl at the age of 8. He’s a Virgo, a Hufflepuff, and a transmasc queerdo who grew up to be the pop punk skater boy he had a crush on in high school.
He’s also a huge nerd with ADHD, so every new interest he discovers comes with a strong desire to learn everything about it that he possibly can. As you’ve probably guessed, sex and kink were two of his earliest fascinations–and the more he learned about them, the more apparent it became that the rest of the world still had a lot to learn, too.
Friday Jul 22, 2022
Friday Jul 22, 2022
The feeling of being alone when embarking on any new journey is so scary. Perhaps you can't talk to anyone around you about it, and the people you do talk to make you feel shamed or a bit crazy. Finding our community, our people, that feel like home, has been the single most powerful and supportive resource the two of us have for exploring non-monogamy.
In this fantastic conversation, we sit down with Mrs. and Mr. Jones from the We Gotta Thing podcast to talk about all things community and our personal experiences with finally finding ours. This episode was originally released on their podcast as Episode 98. In an effort to help more people find their home, we decided to release it here as well. Enjoy!
If you are interested in joining either or both of our communities, here are links to both:
Wednesday Jul 20, 2022
Wednesday Jul 20, 2022
This conversation with Kaitlin and Julian is one of our all-time favorites. Not sure if we're allowed to say that, but here we are. They met and fell in love on the school bus and now have been together for 16 years and married eight. The short version is that one day Julian brought home the Ethical Slut, they read it, and pretty much the next day decided they were polyamorous. It's slightly more complicated than that, but not much. A lot has happened since they read the book and opened up and we have so many amazing conversations about their journey. We dig into self-love, dating, imbalance, self-esteem, and the art of just jumping in. One of the things we love about their journey is that while they have definitely been on it together, they've also each been on their own path at the same time. This conversation is incredible and we hope you enjoy.
Wednesday Jul 13, 2022
Wednesday Jul 13, 2022
Marla is back! And we're talking a bit about everything... Pregnancy, pandemics, parenting, polyamory, potato famines... I made that last one up. Or did I? Only one way to find out. We also talk about why poly isn't the best flavor of ethical non-monogamy for Marla, how she balances her life, her relationships, and most importantly... Herself. Get in here and listen and then go sign up for Sex Down South using the offer code EMMA to save $15... Bonus, you support our podcast when you do. Thank you!
Marla is a professional sexologist, intimacy/relationship/sex coach, speaker, and author. She is the owner of Velvet Lips, a sexuality education company, as well as Contract Liberation, a company focused on research for non-profit groups. As a Lecturer at Clayton State University, she teaches Sociology and Women’s and Gender Studies. As the Co-Founder of the Sex Down South Conference, Marla aims to bring diverse groups together to learn and share their experiences in the essence of being authentic and fostering sexual liberation across communities. Marla has studied human sexuality for over 19 years, has educated over 20,000 people in over 13 years, given over 400 workshops, and have served over 100 clients in her private practice, all around the world. She has had her influence in the media, as well; she has written over 200 articles, featured in over 20 magazines and books, and has been on over 50 podcasts and independent television shows. She was featured on Netflix’s Trigger Warning with Killer Mike and VH1's Love & HipHop Atlanta. In addition, she also sits on the Boards for SPARK Reproductive Justice NOW! and is on the Community Advisory Board of the Diverse Sexualities and Research Education Institute. She also co-wrote her first book, The Ultimate Guide to Seduction & Foreplay (2020) with Dr. Jessica O’Reilly and co-edited An Intersectional Approach to Sex Therapy (2021). See all of her work at www.velvetlipssexed.com.
Wednesday Jul 06, 2022
Wednesday Jul 06, 2022
Melissa and Tim are kind of a first for us on the show and we're super excited about it! They are in their mid-forties and have been together for about five years. What's unique about that? Well, Tim has been with his nesting partner for almost 30 years and Melissa identifies as solo poly. We love hearing how their individual origin stories come together for the beautiful relationship they have built together. Melissa got her start in non-monogamy during a previous relationship via swinging. Tim and his nesting partner slowly opened their relationship into a mono/poly dynamic over a decade ago. Over the last few years they have explored various aspects of polyamory together as well as what they lovingly refer to as "sex friends." We have so many amazing conversations in this episode... We hope you enjoy!
Wednesday Jun 29, 2022
Wednesday Jun 29, 2022
Serena and her husband are newly married and starting to explore a bit of what opening their relationship to non-monogamy could look like for them. Serena has a history of being in monogamous relationships but a few years back she took a break from dating and relationships to figure herself out. When she got back in the game, she realized most of the people she was drawing in were non-monogamous, including her now husband. He came to the relationship with a polyamorous background but they have intentionally kept their relationship closed to build security and determine how they want to do it in their own way. At the moment, Serena identifies most closely with being monogamish... They dabble and are open to exploring but it's still new and perhaps a bit scary at times.
Serena is also a sex and relationship coach with Sex and Love Co. She has been coach for a few years and is excited to weave her personal experience and journey into her coaching work. Her approach to life is as beautiful and peaceful as the birds chirping in the background during this recording... Enjoy!
Wednesday Jun 22, 2022
Wednesday Jun 22, 2022
Alli + Gaylen have been "happily unmarried for 21 years" and were friends for a handful of years before they got together. They've also been living on a 37 foot sailboat for the last two years as they travel and play music together. These two have a beautiful energy between them and this conversation is about so much more than non-monogamy. It's about life. They started exploring swinging when Alli came out as bisexual but they quickly found traditional swinging wasn't really their vibe. Instead, they've been creating a flavor of non-monogamy that blends swinging and polyamory into something that feels best for them. Check out their work and follow them as they serenade their way around the world over at www.sailbumsmusic.com.