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Hi! We’re your hosts Emma and Fin! We’re a married couple in our late thirties and we’ve been exploring non-monogamy in different ways since nearly the beginning of our relationship more than twenty years ago. But, this podcast isn’t about us…
We strongly believe there isn’t a “right way” to be non-monogamous or even that non-monogamy is better or more evolved than monogamy or any other relationship style. Every week we interview people from across the spectrums of gender, sexuality, and relationship style to learn from their incredible and powerful personal stories.
Each episode is a unique perspective and personal story… Pick one that sounds interesting and give it a listen!
We hope that by sharing the amazing journeys of those who are redefining and pushing the limits of what’s possible in relationships that we can show people that they’re not alone and inspire us all to embrace our true selves so that, together, we can open minds and live authentically without shame.
Episodes
Wednesday Apr 26, 2023
Wednesday Apr 26, 2023
Non-monogamy has been a big part of how Elizabeth has related to others her whole life, but she's only recently put words to it. For her, life is made up of experiences and adventures that we learn and grow from. Together we have some amazing conversations about breaking rules, the difference between a "sex friend" and a partner, and the wide variety of different ways she has done non-monogamy. We love how she lives her life in a way where the labels are far less important than how we treat the people we love. Also, Elizabeth shares some amazing stories about living at a sex resort for two months!
Elizabeth is the founder of an amazing phone app! Amorus is the sexy games app for partners to bring the spice and fun back to texting! It's amazing and we're super excited to help her spread the word about it. We firmly believe the world needs more sexiness and Elizabeth is fighting the good fight!
Wednesday Apr 19, 2023
Wednesday Apr 19, 2023
Today we are super excited to have a beautiful and lively conversation with Kyrr, Libby, and Drew! We're thrilled to have a behind-the-scenes look into how three humans who live together co-create an incredible family. Our conversation is wide-ranging and we get to dive deep on how they approach living and parenting in community, collaboration, secondary parenting, and so much more. Less reading and more listening... Get in here and enjoy yourself!
Don't forget to go and check out all of Libby's work at libbysinback.com. Libby is an incredible friend, relationship coach, educator, and content creator. If you'd like to hear more of her, we highly recommend her podcast "Making Polyamory Work." Now... Get in here and listen!
Wednesday Apr 12, 2023
Wednesday Apr 12, 2023
Alyssa is an autistic trans woman who was first exposed to non-monogamy about a decade ago, and as she describes it, it was as if a chorus of angels were singing from heaven. For once, life finally made a bit of sense.
We love the bio from her website and think it's beautiful and describes her better than we ever could... "I'm a biology Ph.D. who knows how to write and speak on a stage. Whether it's highly technical scientific documents, psychological fiction about robots falling in love, an informative presentation on fish biology, or a heart-rending polemic about the reality of being transgender, I can put words together to meet your needs."
Speaking of words... Alyssa is also the author of the newly released book "Nonmonogamy and Neurodiversity"... Again, taken directly from the book's description: "This book is for neurodivergent people considering or practicing nonmonogamy. Its goal is to help neurodivergent people understand how well-suited they are to the polyamorous life, and to help them recognize and manage the challenges that being neurodivergent can bring to nonmonogamy. It is also for the partners and potential partners of neurodivergent people, to encourage them to understand different perspectives and to help them be understanding, accommodating and well-informed. Nonmonogamous relationships do not belong exclusively to the neurotypicals, but to us all."
Please check out all of Alyssa's work on her website: www.alyssacgonzalez.com. This conversation is absolutely incredible and we hope you enjoy it a fraction as much as we enjoyed having it.
Wednesday Apr 05, 2023
Wednesday Apr 05, 2023
Phoenix is obsessed with sex, relationships, intimacy, and how to make all of those things better. Those are their words, not ours. 😁 Phoenix has been exploring non-monogamy since their first year of college, roughly 20 years ago. Over that time, they've explored lots of different relational dynamics, explored their gender and queerness, and overall have had a wide range of powerful life experiences. The early days focused more on the BDSM side of things, but a few years in, it became clear that polyamory was actually part of their identity, not just a fun activity (although it can be that as well!). We hope you enjoy this fun and beautiful conversation!
Phoenix is also a sexuality educator and peer-to-peer coach who focuses on working with those in the ENM, BDSM, and LGBTQIA+ communities. Head over to their website at phoenixmandel.com to lean more about all of their amazing work!
Wednesday Mar 29, 2023
Wednesday Mar 29, 2023
Roderick is so full of energy and enthusiasm for life, and so is our conversation together! Roderick and his partner Jane have been together for about five years and decided about three years in to start exploring what it would mean to slowly open their relationship. For them, it's all about learning ways to improve their relationship and themselves, anything else is icing on the cake.
One of the things we love about this conversation is how open and transparent Roderick is about how Autism, ADHD, and OCD have impacted his life and how finding non-monogamy was like a beacon of light for him. Finding a community where people can show up and be their authentic selves, remove the facade and filters, and communicate openly has been life changing for him.
Another perk of Roderick's neurodivergence is that he is a creative genius... He's an award-winning filmmaker, artist, and writer. (Seriously, this time lapse of him painting is unbelievable...) On a related note... We recorded the video of this interview and it is going to be part of a documentary that Roderick is making called "Open: A Journey Through Love"... He has spent the past 6-8 months traveling around the country interviewing incredible people (including us) who are exploring non-monogamy in their own way. Please check out the short preview here and consider helping support the project through the Indiegogo campaign. Important note: Normalizing Non-Monogamy has not been, and to the best of our knowledge, will not be compensated in any way for our participation in this project nor will any of the funding from the Indiegogo campaign go to us.
Wednesday Mar 22, 2023
Wednesday Mar 22, 2023
"It only takes one person to make change, and I'll try." Janiqueel's approach to love and life is so incredibly powerful and beautiful. Janiqueel started exploring non-monogamy about a decade ago and most closely identifies as solo poly. This conversation is essentially a master class in empathy, compassion, and having both while setting boundaries so you can live the life you want. It's definitely not easy, but it is amazing.
We also highly encourage you to go check out Janiqueel's work, blog, and social media. It is all so impressive and full of such positive vibes and love. You can find everything over at www.janiqueel.com.
Wednesday Mar 15, 2023
Wednesday Mar 15, 2023
This wonderful conversation with Laura has a little bit of everything! She's been exploring non-monogamy for over 15 years and has done so in a wide variety of polyamorous dynamics. Together we talk about her experiences co-parenting in a V-relationship, confronting guilt and shame, and consciously exploring sexuality. And of course, so much more. A bit more about Laura in her own words, copied from her website www.readyforpolyamory.com...
Laura Boyle is an advocate for relationship anarchy and educator on topics under the umbrellas of polyamory and consensual non-monogamy. She also offers classes on sex education, kink, boundaries and cooperative negotiation skills. She found polyamory at university in Montreal in the mid aughts. After returning to the States, where she found local polyam community while completing law school and building her family, she saw a void in relationship education. She began offering classes on the possibilities and pitfalls of different structures of polyamorous relationships. Chronic illness that advanced into disability (and a sprinkle of global pandemic) created the opportunity to pivot a part-time passion into her primary focus. In this time she launched the successful Ready for Polyamory blog and podcast, had several brain surgeries, and expanded her reach nationally and internationally. She published her first book, Ready for Polyamory: A Pragmatic Guide to Consensual Non-Monogamy in September 2021, has been privileged to support dozens of polyamorous individuals and polycules through various phases of their relationships for the past several years, and is excited to be teaching both digitally and in person.
Wednesday Mar 08, 2023
Wednesday Mar 08, 2023
Life is an adventure... And that's exactly how Jill and Stephen live it. These two have been best friends since they met, married over 18 years, and adventuring together the whole time from exploring Europe to opening a bakery. They opened their relationship almost immediately, but moved slowly with it. To their cores, they truly just want the other person to be happy.
They've explored a wide variety of non-monogamous flavors, from swinging to polyamory, and mostly just try to embrace the freedom of letting each relationship be its own. We have great conversations on hierarchy, logistics, coming into your own, kids, and so much more. Also, you're definitely going to want to stick around until the end when they talk about the exchange between Stephen and his young daughter. It's beautiful.
Jill is also a Certified Death Doula and does some wildly powerful work. She talks about it towards the end of the interview and we also encourage you to go check out her work at End of Life Clarity.
Wednesday Mar 01, 2023
Wednesday Mar 01, 2023
This conversation with Brian is so amazing and covers so many facets of relating to other humans, regardless of your relationship dynamic. Brian is a cis, queer, polyamorous, sex and relationship educator who grew up evangelical Christian and came out as queer in 2004. He's been with his partner for over 14 years and they slowly opened their relationship about a year into it. And today, he is also one of the co-founders of queertheology.com!
One of the things we love about talking with Brian is how he weaves incredible learning moments into all of his experiences in life. We have great conversations on hierarchy, communication, rules and constraints, labels, the power of fluidity in relationships, and the intersection of spirituality and non-monogamy... All packed into one podcast!
A bit more about Brian that we borrowed from his website:
Brian G. Murphy is an activist, educator, and certified relationship coach. He studied film production and religion at the University of Southern California as a Presidential Scholar and was inducted into Theta Alpha Kappa, the national honor society for religious studies and theology.
Before turning to activism, Brian worked in Hollywood on a number of film and television projects and produced a pilot for a national broadcast network. He received nonviolence training through Soulforce, media training from GLAAD, and participated in the 2007 Equality Ride, engaging in direct action activism at anti-LGBTQ colleges in the USA.
Today he is the co-founder of QueerTheology.com, a resource hub, podcast, and online community, which explores how queerness and spirituality enrich one another; and Relationshift, a relationship coaching practice helping LGBTQ+ and polyamorous people build thriving relationships on their own terms.
He is co-author of Queers The Word and a sought-after speaker at colleges, churches, and conferences across the country. Brian has worked with GLSEN, Athlete Ally, Born This Way Foundation, and the Human Rights Campaign, as well as a number of local, grassroots organizations. His work has been featured in Vice, BuzzFeed, The Huffington Post, The Advocate, Upworthy, and NBC News.
Wednesday Feb 22, 2023
Wednesday Feb 22, 2023
Sara is an amazing, community-building badass! She's been exploring non-monogamy since 2006 when she and her husband decided to open their marriage after reading Stranger in a Strange Land. Fast forward to today and Sara has navigated opening a marriage, having a child, transitioning her marriage to co-parenting, solo polyamory, and nesting again with a different partner. Sara talks about her journey in a way that beautifully weaves her story with valuable learning opportunities around everything from codependency to the importance of community.
Sara is also the co-creator of Southwest Love Fest. She and Kate (Ep. 274) have spent the last four years building an incredible community-driven conference in Tucson, AZ. In short, Southwest Love Fest is an annual conference on relationships, identity, community, and non-monogamy. We are presenting a workshop at this year's conference. If you'd like to join us and save 10%, use the code EMMA at checkout!