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Hi! We’re your hosts Emma and Fin! We’re a married couple in our late thirties and we’ve been exploring non-monogamy in different ways since nearly the beginning of our relationship more than twenty years ago. But, this podcast isn’t about us…
We strongly believe there isn’t a “right way” to be non-monogamous or even that non-monogamy is better or more evolved than monogamy or any other relationship style. Every week we interview people from across the spectrums of gender, sexuality, and relationship style to learn from their incredible and powerful personal stories.
Each episode is a unique perspective and personal story… Pick one that sounds interesting and give it a listen!
We hope that by sharing the amazing journeys of those who are redefining and pushing the limits of what’s possible in relationships that we can show people that they’re not alone and inspire us all to embrace our true selves so that, together, we can open minds and live authentically without shame.
Episodes
Aug 16, 2023
Aug 16, 2023
1hr 23 min
Jeannie's story is an absolutely beautiful one. She had what she felt was an "average" or "normal" sex life until she was in her mid-twenties and then she felt her libido shut down. It became really apparent to her when she moved in with her boyfriend (now husband).
This set her off on a journey of trying to reclaim and unlock the sexual person she felt she was. We are so grateful for her vulnerability in taking us behind the scenes into the really powerful and hard work she has done both individually, and with her husband. Oh, and spoiler alert... Her boyfriend of two years plays a part in the story as well!
About a decade ago Jeannie and her husband started discussing the idea of non-monogamy and opening their marriage. After four years of talking about it, they took their first steps. They opened their marriage. Then, one of them unexpectedly fell in love and they ended up closing their relationship to do some more work together before opening back up. As Jeannie describes it, she went through a huge mindset shift in how she thinks about love, which opened up new ways for her to approach relationships.
One of the best parts of all of this... Jeannie wrote a memoir detailing the whole journey. It's a combination of powerful epiphanies and some super sexy and powerful experiences. You can find out more at www.summerofsexiness.com. We hope you enjoy her book and this conversation!
Aug 9, 2023
Aug 9, 2023
1hr 38 min
Chloe and Drew met in high school, got married shortly after graduating, and then had to grow up fast when their daughter passed away. Sadly, the grieving process opened the door for each of them to emotionally neglect their relationship. This led to an emotional affair, which ultimately ended with the two of them redesigning their entire relationship.
This conversation is a snapshot of where these two are at after years of intense work on themselves and on their partnership. Spoiler alert... They have made monumental changes in how they love through their relationship and life together. Not only were we struck by how much has changed, but this interview is full, from start to finish, with practical and actionable strategies they have used. The way the two of them used a seemingly stupid game on their phone to develop empathy for one another is so beautiful, as is how they approach boundaries, and communicating with their children.
Stop reading this and start listening. You will be glad you did. Enjoy.
Aug 2, 2023
Aug 2, 2023
1hr 30 min
Nikki and Michael have known each other since they were teenagers, have been together 27 years, and married for 20. They've also both been in the performing arts community for over 30 years. Their initial exposure a few years ago to exploring sexuality and connection outside of their relationship came through incidental and even some accidental experiences they had as part of that community.
We love how Nikki and Michael take us through their journey in a very honest and vulnerable way. For them, it wasn't glamorous, romantic, or sexy in the beginning. In fact, the glamour wore off quickly for them as they realized it's about the human connection. It's about self-growth and learning about who you are, questioning your past and the scripts we're taught, and understanding the world around you. And, it can also be really hard, yet, extraordinarily beautiful and powerful.
Nikki and Michael also took their 30+ years of experience in theatre, combined it with what they have learned about themselves, consent, sexuality, and life through their experiences in non-monogamy, and created an interactive play called Compersion! While we have not had the opportunity to experience it ourselves, we highly encourage you to check it out! It sounds incredible and unlike anything we have ever heard of. You can learn more at www.steamyromantics.com.
Jul 26, 2023
Jul 26, 2023
1hr 18 min
Fernanda grew up in Mexico and moved to the US in 2016. She knew about the concept of non-monogamy before that, but her first real-life exposure came when she met someone at the airport when she landed in New York City and lost her wallet. They became friends and he introduced her to his Burning Man community, many of whom are non-monogamous. She spent a few years exploring variations of non-monogamy on her own before she met her current partner about five years ago. He was, and still is, monogamous. She is not.
We have a wonderful conversation with her about how they slowly opened their partnership and how it has evolved over the last few years. We are so grateful for Fernanda's transparency and willingness to share how they navigate their version of a Don't Ask, Don't Tell (DADT) partnership and how they have co-created the rules and boundaries, even when it didn't always feel great to one or both of them.
Fernanda is also the host of the Polycurious podcast and a relationship coach who primarily works with people who are also exploring non-monogamy. The best place to find her work is on her Instagram page. Check it out!
Jul 19, 2023
Jul 19, 2023
1hr 28 min
Katie and Beau have an incredibly beautiful story and they are some of the most kind and loving people we've come across. This interview is truly a delight!
These two grew up near one another but never met until a mutual friend set them up on sort of a blind date while they happened to both be in Ireland many years later. Let's just say the first date went well and they essentially moved in together, in Ireland, not long after. That was about six years ago.
The foundation of their partnership is built on communication, integrity, and treating one another with love, respect, and trust. They had conversations about opening their partnership early on, but took some time to embrace it.
About a year ago they decided to revisit the conversation as a possible option to help them navigate some challenges they were facing. Then, a few months before their wedding, Beau fell for someone and the journey got a whole lot more real. Luckily, the foundation these two built has been crucial in how they have only grown closer through the experience and they are now happily married, and happily in love with, one another and their new partners as well!
Jul 12, 2023
Jul 12, 2023
1hr 9 min
Nick has been exploring consensual non-monogamy for about a decade and is the hinge in a cohabitating triad with Jace (Episode 254) and Sammy. He shares how he and his partners balance their time, find time for themselves, and how they co-create a beautiful home dynamic where they each bring their unique strengths. Nick is also incredibly honest and vulnerable about his challenges and growth throughout his journey.
We're also extremely grateful to Nick for sharing about his experience and journey of coming out. He grew up in a very religious Catholic home, played music in his church, and was married to a woman when he met and fell for his now husband, Sammy. His coming out changed his life in drastic ways and yet he feels like he is more able to be himself than ever before.
It's also no secret that music is Nick's life... Don't forget to check out Nick's incredible band, Brother Hawk. You won't regret it!
Jul 5, 2023
Jul 5, 2023
1hr 23 min
This interview with Liana is so much fun! Get ready to laugh... Liana describes herself as a "severely gay", queer, and polyamorous relationship nerd. Although, she admits the "relationship nerd" part is a bit newer and came as a result of being terrible at relationships when she was younger. We've all been there, right?
Liana recognized her queerness as a freshman in high school but struggled with Catholic guilt for a few years before coming out during her senior year. A few years later, as a senior in college she discovered polyamory and started down that road, as well.
Liana is super vulnerable in sharing about her journey of coming out multiple times and how they were linked but also very unique at the same time. We also have great conversations about being partnered through the process of coming out, making mistakes, and just being yourself. The takeaway today... It's okay to not know what you're doing!
Liana is also a queer relationship and love coach who works primarily with people in the queer and poly communities and is co-host of the Queer and Poly Podcast. Check out all her work via her Instagram page.
Jun 28, 2023
Jun 28, 2023
1hr 21 min
Joli and Ken have known one another since Joli was born. Then, somewhere around 14 years ago something clicked on the dance floor. (Not a euphemism) Since that night, these two have been on a powerful and beautiful rollercoaster ride together as they have learned about themselves, each other, and how to relate in a way that feels right for them.
Our conversation with these two is amazing. Not only are they super vulnerable about their growing pains, and sometimes just pains... But, they've done an astonishing amount of work to understand exactly what was going on for them during those times and how they can reflect on it with invaluable insights for the rest of us.
Joli has taken learning about how to make her relationships better to a new level. As she says "My way out of trouble has always been to dive in 100%, so I got my doctorate in depth psychology, a certification in sexuality education, and became a researcher known for my work on the archetypal experience of jealousy."
Lucky for all of us! Joli is now a relationship coach who works 1:1 and in groups to help people dream up and create relationships that work for them. Together, her and Ken also host the Playing with Fire podcast. Please check out all of their work at jolihamilton.com!
Jun 21, 2023
Jun 21, 2023
1hr 8 min
Frank and his fiancé have been together for about eight years and have explored a wide variety of flavors of non-monogamy. They opened up their partnership a few years back when one of his fiancé's former partners came to town and things just sort of happened. Since then, they've been figuring out what works for them.
Some of the major themes from this conversation are how Frank and his partner thread the needle of finding people to connect with and how they communicate their wants, needs, and capacities to ensure they're co-creating the right kind of relationship or friendship with people.
Frank is also the creator, writer, and star of Open To It! Open to It is a queer comedy series about a loving gay couple, who experiments with becoming a hot gay throuple. But threesome sex and open relationships come with more complications than limbs.
It's absolutely hilarious! Check it out!
Jun 14, 2023
Jun 14, 2023
1hr 26 min
Leah and Brady have been together for about five years and came to the partnership with different backgrounds in non-monogamy, Leah was pretty much brand new to the idea and Brady had been exploring non-monogamy for about 20 years. Together, they decided to open their partnership from the very beginning.
There are so many things we love about this conversation but there are a few things we extra love.! Leah and Brady are super vulnerable and honest about their struggles in finding a rhythm that worked for them. They're also really transparent about their individual growth journeys as they learned how to support one another, build a new family, integrate previous partners and kids, and create a partnership that works for both of them... Even if it's not 100% "equal" in how they approach it.