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Hi! We’re Emma and Fin! We’re a married couple in our thirties who have been exploring non-monogamy for over 15 years. Every week we interview people from across the spectrums of gender, sexuality, and relationship styles to hear their amazing stories. Many of our guests identify as swingers or polyamorous. However, quite a few have redefined non-monogamy in their own way by creating a unique dynamic that works for them. We hope that by giving a voice to the diverse community exploring non-monogamy that we can show people they are not alone and inspire them to embrace their true selves so that, together, we can open minds and live authentically without shame. We hope you enjoy the show and who knows, maybe someday you’ll even be up for sharing your own story. We’d love to hear it!
Episodes
29 minutes ago
29 minutes ago
Jet is a 40 year old mother of two girls who has been married for over 20 years, and up until about two years ago she assumed she was monogamous. A few years ago she started to develop a deep friendship with a co-worker and ultimately realized she had fallen in love with him just as he was moving away. She decided to be honest with her husband about her feelings and as they were doing research about what to do and what this means for their marriage they discovered polyamory and non-monogamy.
Through the same resources they were learning about polyamory, they also realized that her husband was likely on the asexual spectrum. For the last few years Jet and her husband have been trying to reinvent their relationship in a way that works for both of them since he has no interest in being in an open relationship and she is realizing she has been polyamorous her whole life without recognizing it.
This interview with Jet is incredibly vulnerable and powerful as she shares the heartbreak and challenges she and her husband are navigating in their partnership as they continue to be deeply in love and otherwise happy in their marriage.
Wednesday Apr 16, 2025
Wednesday Apr 16, 2025
Sonia and Gabe were originally on the podcast back on Episode 193 and today we have the honor of having them back to talk about how their partnership has shifted and grown since then.
Sonia and Gabe have been together for over two decades and a few years ago they intentionally removed the sexual component of their relationship. In our beautiful conversation today they share how they reached their decision and how they continue to deepen their connection, intimacy and commitment to one another without relying on sex. This conversation is really powerful and vulnerable and we hope you get as much from it as we did.
Gabriel is also the director of a new adult animated educational series, called Welcome to Kinkyville, about kink and how to do it safely. The kickstarter campaign wrapped up back in 2021 and they've spent the last few years creating a pitch-pilot and it is incredible! You can check it out over at welcometokinkyville.com!
Wednesday Apr 09, 2025
Wednesday Apr 09, 2025
Holly grew up in a super religious and closed-minded environment and started rebelling in her late teens after moving out on her own. She fell in love, married her girlfriend, and a few years later they quit their jobs and bought one-way plane tickets out of the country to learn and explore other ways of living.
While out exploring the world Holly was introduced to non-monogamy and has since been figuring out how she wants to be in relationship with others. Like many of us, her path is winding and ever-evolving. Holly currently identifies as solo polyamorous and is finding her way back to herself after her last relationship. Join us as Holly shares her beautiful adventure with us!
Holly also does really powerful work and she describes it in her bio on SoulPlay's website better than we ever could:
Born and raised in South Louisiana, Holly embarked on her transformative journey in 2009, leaving her career and letting go of everything she owned to forge a new path. Since then she's traveled extensively, immersing herself in diverse cultures and ways of life, seeking purpose and a way to channel her skills toward creating positive change. During her travels, she took on various odd jobs, including helping to produce a grassroots weekend music festival in New Zealand. That experience ignited a passion for event production, which became the foundation of her new career. Today, she lives in the Bay Area and produces events full-time, crafting spaces that invite personal and collective transformation. Since 2015, she's been honored to serve as a founding contributor and Executive Director for SoulPlay, where she's made community and connection the heart of her purpose and passion.
Wednesday Apr 02, 2025
Wednesday Apr 02, 2025
Dani strongly identifies as polyamorous and feels that she was born this way. However, she's only been actively exploring and practicing polyamory for a couple of years. She's currently in a self-proclaimed "midlife crisis era" and has been reimagining and reinventing herself after coming out of a 16-year monogamous marriage.
Spoiler alert! Figuring out what we want in life can be really hard! Dani's explored lots of different complex relationships and connections over the last few years and today she's in a place where she is longing to be in love again... At the same time, she has a real fear of enmeshment and getting swept away on the relationship escalator. Dani vulnerably takes us inside her emotional and challenging journey of navigating the discomfort of the unknown as she finds herself.
Dani is a writer, speaker, facilitator, storyteller, coach, business consultant, and the host of the "Another Way" podcast. She believes we all get to create the lives we want and that we don't have to settle or do what anyone else expects of us. And! We don't have to do it alone. To learn more about Dani and all of her work, please check out her website!
Wednesday Mar 26, 2025
Wednesday Mar 26, 2025
Eka is back! We first talked to her about two and a half years ago on episode 255 when she was just about to have her first child. She's in her mid-thirties and has been exploring non-monogamy in a variety of ways since about 2012.
Since we last spoke, Eka and her partner Em had baby Elle and it's been an adventurous few years! Today Eka shares how having a newborn (and now a toddler) has impacted her life, her relationships, and her sexuality. She's been exploring her sexuality, demisexuality, kink, and multiple connections and partnerships all while figuring out how to be a new mom! There's never a dull moment and we absolutely love when we get to talk to Eka and hope you enjoy this conversation as much as we did!
Wednesday Mar 19, 2025
Wednesday Mar 19, 2025
Cathy and Steve are both in their fifties and have been exploring various forms of non-monogamy since they got together about six years ago. They met through a recovery fellowship program and built a friendship over a few years before they started dating and dipping their toes into non-monogamy as a way for Cathy to explore her bisexuality.
Cathy and Steve come from very different relational backgrounds... Steve was married to his ex-wife in a multi-decade "mostly successful relationship that ran its course" whereas Cathy had been suppressing her sexuality for decades only to have it bubble up through infidelities in multiple marriages before she met Steve.
Their relationship is built on a foundation of open and honest communication and friendship where they both feel like they're able to be their authentic selves. Their non-monogamous adventures have had ups and downs and have spanned the spectrum of swinging, hotwifing, cuckolding, and polyamory. They do a bit of everything and they're figuring it out as they go!
After you listen to this beautiful interview we encourage you to check out Cathy and Steve's writing on Medium and on their website under the pseudonyms Sam and Kate!
Wednesday Mar 12, 2025
Wednesday Mar 12, 2025
Hilly first joined us on Episode 225 and now she's back to catch us up on all the ways she's been kicking ass over the last three years! She's a 38 year old pansexual, polyamorous, neurodivergent, BDSM practitioner of more than 20 years. She's also an ageplay advocate and educator, and the winner of the title of "Florida Little 2024!" (Edit: In the intro we mention that Hilly is the first person to win this new title... She is the second person to win it, and first woman to win.)
This interview is so beautiful, uplifting, and full of love! Hilly shares some updates on her partnerships and takes us deep into the world of kink and BDSM title competitions. She also shares her own powerful journey of running for, and winning her Florida Little 2024 title in December!
Hilly has also spoken on several other podcasts over the years and enjoys sharing her experiences both in the BDSM lifestyle, as well as her polyamorous journey with her partner of over 5 years. Her greatest goal is to create more supportive spaces and to foster a deeper understanding and acceptance for ageplay and many of the more niche kinks that exist under the greater umbrella of the BDSM lifestyle. She is an LGBTQIA+ ally, and makes a point of advocating for the rights of all people to live their truest and most authentic selves.
You can find out more about Hilly and her work over on her website, her Facebook page, and her YouTube channel!
Wednesday Mar 05, 2025
Wednesday Mar 05, 2025
James is an Australian living in the UK who has been practicing some form of non-monogamy since he met his partner at a kink club in London nearly 20 years ago. He currently describes his flavor of non-monogamy as sitting in the middle of the Venn diagram between kink, polyamory, and swinging... His relationships often blend these three together in some fashion.
James is insatiably curious and passionate about relationships, connection, community, and life in general! He was also diagnosed with AUDHD (Autism and ADHD) a few years ago and shares with us how this has changed his whole understanding of how he's done relationships and life for over 50 years.
We love this conversation and hope you enjoy it as well! If you're interested in more from James, you can find his writing on Medium as well.
Friday Feb 28, 2025
Friday Feb 28, 2025
Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month!
Today we're answering questions from our virtual community! First, we talk about how to be the hinge partner in a dynamic where your two partners want nothing to do with one another. And then, we share some of our thoughts on how to maintain and deepen our connection with a partner when we have different libidos, sexual interests, and desires.
Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy. Learn more about Meshai and all of her work over at expansiveconnection.com!
You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I also completed a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute in March 2024!
Wednesday Feb 26, 2025
Wednesday Feb 26, 2025
JoEllen woke up one day in 2011 and knew she needed to make some changes in her life. Not long after that she divorced her husband and sadly, her father passed away. She took about a year to collect herself while she figured out what was next... Coming out of her marriage, she didn't know what she wanted out of life and relationships but she definitely knew what she didn't want.
So! She decided to start learning about sex because it was something she never really knew much about... She started researching and learning as much as she could and early in her research she discovered non-monogamy.
Since then, JoEllen has been busy exploring her own style of non-monogamy, figuring out what works best for her, sharing her journey online, and generally being a badass who loves talking about all of the things most people are afraid to.
JoEllen Notte is a writer, speaker, and mental health advocate whose work explores the impact of depression on sex and relationships. Since 2012 she has written about sex, mental health, and how none of us are broken at www.redheadbedhead.com. She is also the author of The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression, and the Conversations We Aren’t Having and In It Together: Navigating Depression with Partners, Friends, and Family. Please check out and support her incredible work on Patreon!