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Hi! We’re Emma and Fin! We’re a married couple in our thirties who have been exploring non-monogamy for over 15 years. Every week we interview people from across the spectrums of gender, sexuality, and relationship styles to hear their amazing stories. Many of our guests identify as swingers or polyamorous. However, quite a few have redefined non-monogamy in their own way by creating a unique dynamic that works for them. We hope that by giving a voice to the diverse community exploring non-monogamy that we can show people they are not alone and inspire them to embrace their true selves so that, together, we can open minds and live authentically without shame. We hope you enjoy the show and who knows, maybe someday you’ll even be up for sharing your own story. We’d love to hear it!
Episodes
7 days ago
7 days ago
Eka is back! We first talked to her about two and a half years ago on episode 255 when she was just about to have her first child. She's in her mid-thirties and has been exploring non-monogamy in a variety of ways since about 2012.
Since we last spoke, Eka and her partner Em had baby Elle and it's been an adventurous few years! Today Eka shares how having a newborn (and now a toddler) has impacted her life, her relationships, and her sexuality. She's been exploring her sexuality, demisexuality, kink, and multiple connections and partnerships all while figuring out how to be a new mom! There's never a dull moment and we absolutely love when we get to talk to Eka and hope you enjoy this conversation as much as we did!
Wednesday Mar 19, 2025
Wednesday Mar 19, 2025
Cathy and Steve are both in their fifties and have been exploring various forms of non-monogamy since they got together about six years ago. They met through a recovery fellowship program and built a friendship over a few years before they started dating and dipping their toes into non-monogamy as a way for Cathy to explore her bisexuality.
Cathy and Steve come from very different relational backgrounds... Steve was married to his ex-wife in a multi-decade "mostly successful relationship that ran its course" whereas Cathy had been suppressing her sexuality for decades only to have it bubble up through infidelities in multiple marriages before she met Steve.
Their relationship is built on a foundation of open and honest communication and friendship where they both feel like they're able to be their authentic selves. Their non-monogamous adventures have had ups and downs and have spanned the spectrum of swinging, hotwifing, cuckolding, and polyamory. They do a bit of everything and they're figuring it out as they go!
After you listen to this beautiful interview we encourage you to check out Cathy and Steve's writing on Medium and on their website under the pseudonyms Sam and Kate!
Wednesday Mar 12, 2025
Wednesday Mar 12, 2025
Hilly first joined us on Episode 225 and now she's back to catch us up on all the ways she's been kicking ass over the last three years! She's a 38 year old pansexual, polyamorous, neurodivergent, BDSM practitioner of more than 20 years. She's also an ageplay advocate and educator, and the winner of the title of "Florida Little 2024!" (Edit: In the intro we mention that Hilly is the first person to win this new title... She is the second person to win it, and first woman to win.)
This interview is so beautiful, uplifting, and full of love! Hilly shares some updates on her partnerships and takes us deep into the world of kink and BDSM title competitions. She also shares her own powerful journey of running for, and winning her Florida Little 2024 title in December!
Hilly has also spoken on several other podcasts over the years and enjoys sharing her experiences both in the BDSM lifestyle, as well as her polyamorous journey with her partner of over 5 years. Her greatest goal is to create more supportive spaces and to foster a deeper understanding and acceptance for ageplay and many of the more niche kinks that exist under the greater umbrella of the BDSM lifestyle. She is an LGBTQIA+ ally, and makes a point of advocating for the rights of all people to live their truest and most authentic selves.
You can find out more about Hilly and her work over on her website, her Facebook page, and her YouTube channel!
Wednesday Mar 05, 2025
Wednesday Mar 05, 2025
James is an Australian living in the UK who has been practicing some form of non-monogamy since he met his partner at a kink club in London nearly 20 years ago. He currently describes his flavor of non-monogamy as sitting in the middle of the Venn diagram between kink, polyamory, and swinging... His relationships often blend these three together in some fashion.
James is insatiably curious and passionate about relationships, connection, community, and life in general! He was also diagnosed with AUDHD (Autism and ADHD) a few years ago and shares with us how this has changed his whole understanding of how he's done relationships and life for over 50 years.
We love this conversation and hope you enjoy it as well! If you're interested in more from James, you can find his writing on Medium as well.
Friday Feb 28, 2025
Friday Feb 28, 2025
Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month!
Today we're answering questions from our virtual community! First, we talk about how to be the hinge partner in a dynamic where your two partners want nothing to do with one another. And then, we share some of our thoughts on how to maintain and deepen our connection with a partner when we have different libidos, sexual interests, and desires.
Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy. Learn more about Meshai and all of her work over at expansiveconnection.com!
You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I also completed a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute in March 2024!
Wednesday Feb 26, 2025
Wednesday Feb 26, 2025
JoEllen woke up one day in 2011 and knew she needed to make some changes in her life. Not long after that she divorced her husband and sadly, her father passed away. She took about a year to collect herself while she figured out what was next... Coming out of her marriage, she didn't know what she wanted out of life and relationships but she definitely knew what she didn't want.
So! She decided to start learning about sex because it was something she never really knew much about... She started researching and learning as much as she could and early in her research she discovered non-monogamy.
Since then, JoEllen has been busy exploring her own style of non-monogamy, figuring out what works best for her, sharing her journey online, and generally being a badass who loves talking about all of the things most people are afraid to.
JoEllen Notte is a writer, speaker, and mental health advocate whose work explores the impact of depression on sex and relationships. Since 2012 she has written about sex, mental health, and how none of us are broken at www.redheadbedhead.com. She is also the author of The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression, and the Conversations We Aren’t Having and In It Together: Navigating Depression with Partners, Friends, and Family. Please check out and support her incredible work on Patreon!
Wednesday Feb 19, 2025
Wednesday Feb 19, 2025
Ashley and Mark have such an incredible and inspirational approach to exploring non-monogamy and life in general! They've been together over six years and about two years ago Mark brought up the idea of non-monogamy. They spent a year researching and learning before diving in and going to their first swinging event.
Today they take us through their beautiful story and how they've both been learning to support each other without abandoning or sacrificing themselves. They've also been figuring out how to explore non-monogamy at different paces that support their different comfort levels and interests. Plus! They're doing all of this while raising two kids in a blended family and while living with Mark's ex-wife and co-parent of his child.
This conversation is so full of love and positivity and we hope you enjoy it as much as we did!
Wednesday Feb 12, 2025
Wednesday Feb 12, 2025
Marie joins us today from Denmark! She has been with her husband for more than a decade and about two years into their partnership they slowly began opening their relationship. They started by going to swinging clubs and getting into the swinging scene for a few years before shifting to dating separately and exploring polyamory.
Marie and her husband never really had a "plan" they were following for non-monogamy, and they still don't. Their journey together has brought so much joy and love into their lives but that doesn't mean it always came easily. Like many couples who have been together a long time, they had to do a lot of work to differentiate from one another and learn how to stand on their own as individuals while also maintaining their connection. Marie's story is really beautiful and we hope you enjoy it as much as we did.
Marie and her husband run a support and education community for people who are exploring non-monogamy called Openwise. They also travel around in their campervan teaching sexual education at schools and Marie works as a relationship and jealousy coach specializing in non-monogamy. You can learn more about her work on her website and at www.openwise.community.
Wednesday Feb 05, 2025
Wednesday Feb 05, 2025
Orit is back! We first talked to Orit back on Episode 309 just as she was starting to go through some major relational shifts and transitions when her nesting partner began dating her recently former partner's other partner.
Today, she takes us inside her healing and grieving journey over the last two years. It hasn't been easy (to say the least!) but as you'll hear in this beautiful conversation, she's now found herself in a really great place emotionally and relationally.
Orit Krug is an award-winning Board-Certified Dance/Movement Therapist who helps individuals and couples heal from past trauma through their bodies and movement so they can move on from the past and create lasting, loving relationships.
For over 12 years, Orit has transformed the lives of more than 5,000 clients from over 10 different countries. Her online programs have helped thousands break free from their unhealthy, trauma-driven relationship cycles and experience positive transformations in their love lives. Check out all of her work and learn about her retreats on her website!
Wednesday Jan 29, 2025
Wednesday Jan 29, 2025
Growing up in a small, remote, conservative town in Manitoba Alayna didn't even know that women could be gay... It wasn't a thing she even thought was possible. She was boy crazy in school to the point where her parents and teachers were a bit concerned.
Today she takes us on her beautiful and complicated journey of discovering her own sexuality and ultimately coming out as gay when she was 29. Along the way Alayna was in a 10-year relationship with her boyfriend, explored polyamory, thought she was bisexual, and then slowly realized that she wasn't bisexual and that polyamory wasn't for her. Alayna's story is so powerful as she shows us how hard it can be to overcome the shame and societal expectations around our sexuality and relationships.
Alayna described herself on her YouTube Channel better than we ever could...
Alayna Joy is a therapist-in-training, climbing-obsessed, queer content creator who brings her frank and funny perspective to a wide range of topics, such as mental health and sexuality. She is the host of Sleeping Around: The Psychology of Sex, Dating, and Relationships and co-hosts the Chosen Family Podcast. Alayna is currently completing a Master’s Degree in Counseling Psychology as a part of her training to become a licensed psychotherapist. Across social media, Alayna shares her love for all things sexuality, climbing, and the great outdoors with a positive community of like-minded women and 2SLGBTQIA+ folks. No matter the type of content she’s creating, Alayna’s goal is always to keep laughter and education at the forefront. Check out all of Alayna's work here!