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Hi! We’re Emma and Fin! We’re a married couple in our thirties who have been exploring non-monogamy for over 15 years. Every week we interview people from across the spectrums of gender, sexuality, and relationship styles to hear their amazing stories. Many of our guests identify as swingers or polyamorous. However, quite a few have redefined non-monogamy in their own way by creating a unique dynamic that works for them. We hope that by giving a voice to the diverse community exploring non-monogamy that we can show people they are not alone and inspire them to embrace their true selves so that, together, we can open minds and live authentically without shame. We hope you enjoy the show and who knows, maybe someday you’ll even be up for sharing your own story. We’d love to hear it!
Episodes
Wednesday Mar 13, 2024
Wednesday Mar 13, 2024
Nikita grew up in India and came to the US about seven years ago when she was 19. As she began to embrace her queerness she started learning about new relationship structures and ultimately found non-monogamy through the kink scene in New York City. For the past few years she has been exploring solo polyamory and shares with us her beautiful, powerful, and challenging journey. For her, being non-monogamous is part of her identity and she sees it as an extension of her queerness.
Nikita is also a community organizer, psychotherapist, and sex therapist based in NYC. Her website does a much better job of capturing the power of her work and who she is than we ever could. Please check out her bio below and visit her website for all of her incredible work.
From Nikita's Website:
I am a Mental Health Therapist-LP and Sex Therapist based in New York City. I graduated with my Master’s in Counseling in Mental Health and Wellness and a dual degree in LGBT Health, Education, and Social Services from New York University. I also hold a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology with a background in Women and Gender Studies from George Mason University. I identify as a queer South Asian immigrant woman. I’m also neurodivergent and non-monogamous. Aside from being a therapist, I have volunteered as a crisis counselor for the Trevor Project, worked as a graduate assistant for the New York University LGBTQ+ Center, and helped in the planning of social justice conferences.
I have worked towards being a therapist for many years now and it is my greatest honor to arrive where I am. I grew up in Bangalore, a city in India where access to mental healthcare was limited and heavily stigmatized. We didn’t really talk about sex at all and the patriarchal culture often made it unsafe to embody our sexual selves. During my young adult years in Bangalore, I struggled to find a counselor who had a background in LGBTQ issues. The counselor that I talked to put me in a one size fits all box, bound by a traditional conception of heteronormative binary identities. The services I received seemed ingenuine and I felt alone. The counselor failed to understand the challenges that are faced by a queer woman in a conservative country. At that moment, a strong desire to uplift people who feel confused and alone was born.
Wednesday Mar 06, 2024
Wednesday Mar 06, 2024
Jill and Jack are back and this conversation is so powerful! This interview stands on its own. You do not need to have listened to their first episode to get a ton out of this conversation.
Their initial interview on Episode 97 was less than a year into their non-monogamous adventure together. They have spent the last four years doing absolutely mind-blowing work on themselves and their partnership. Today, they share how they have arrived in the best place they've ever been.
Spoiler alert: It was a LOT of hard work!
Jill and Jack have been married for over 22 years and open for about the last five. They come from a deeply religious background and are former Mennonites who made a pitstop as Baptists on their way out of organized religion about a decade ago.
Their initial entry into non-monogamy came during the aftermath of Jack getting happy-ending massages while he was still a Deacon in the Baptist church. They go into much more detail, but the very short version is that Jill was like "Okay... No more lying. We're a team. And by the way, I want to know if other guys want me as well!"
Today we get behind the scenes on how they worked together to improve their communication, came through another infidelity, overcame decades of resentment, smoothed out their gas and brake pattern, and are finding ways to be in the moment and enjoy life together.
Seriously, don't skip it.
Enjoy!
Wednesday Feb 28, 2024
Wednesday Feb 28, 2024
Today (February 28) is Metamour Day and we're so excited to be celebrating with Anna! While Metamour relationships are definitely a vibrant theme in this interview, we also dig into so much more!
Anna is an incredible artist, writer, counselor, and storyteller who is filled with deep love, compassion, and joy... They bring all of this and more to our conversation in a beautifully vulnerable and gentle way. This isn't an episode to be skipping.
Anna learned about non-monogamy during graduate school after having their heart completely shattered. They had very little sexual and dating experience and embarked on a powerful journey of self-discovery that continues today. Currently, Anna has been partnered with William for nearly 20 years, partnered with Joe for over a decade, and is exploring connecting with others in ways that honor each individual relationship.
You can find Anna’s art on PositivelyPolyAnna.com, their counseling work at livelikelove.net, learn more about Metamour Day at MetamourDay.com, and support Anna’s work through their Patreon.
AND! Don't forget to get your Metamour Day Postcards here and save 20% with the code "NNM"!
Friday Feb 23, 2024
Friday Feb 23, 2024
Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month!
Today's questions are about advice for a couple who is new to non-monogamy and they're in a mono/poly dynamic AND how do we meet our partners desires without giving up who we are if the two are not fully aligned.
If YOU have a question, we'd love to hear it! Please, ask us anything by clicking here!
We are super excited to be partnering with Meshai for the Ask Us Anything episodes! She first appeared on the podcast on Episode 233 and we're honored to have her back!
Meshai is relationship coach with the team at Expansive Connection. She believes in the power of living as one’s authentic self, and the freedom that comes from changing perspectives. She loves putting the puzzle pieces of a couple's sexual energy together and aiding them in positive and explorative movement.
Her coaching work implements creative synergy, openness, self-expression, and the confrontation of challenges through self-determination. She helps individuals from diverse populations move forward with their goals while being fully aware that trauma can play on the whole person.
Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy.
You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I am also working towards completing a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute and will be finished in late spring 2024.
Wednesday Feb 21, 2024
Wednesday Feb 21, 2024
Kim is a psychotherapist with more than 20 years of experience helping clients work through difficulties with relationships and break-downs in communication, including issues of trust and infidelity. Along with her husband, she is also a swinger, a secret unknown to even her children or closest friends.
Kim and her husband have been married for over 25 years and intentionally exploring non-monogamy and swinging for about the past eight. Their adventure started as bedroom talk and exploring through fantasy... Then, roughly 20 years ago they were on vacation and told their taxi driver they were looking for some adventure and he dropped them off at a sex club! Surprise!
Their experience at the club carried them forward in and out of the world of swinging and non-monogamy for over a decade before eventually digging into the tools they needed to find a path that works for them. Throughout their journey they have been continually figuring out how to balance their own individual needs with the needs and agreements of their partnership. In a world where everything and everyone is continually evolving, they've learned the critical importance of having hard conversations and not shifting into autopilot.
There's so much to Kim's incredible story! Unfortunately we couldn't pack it all into this interview... Luckily for you, Kim wrote a memoir called The Swinger in the Mirror! We highly recommend you check it out. Her story is full of incredible experiences and invaluable lessons.
Wednesday Feb 14, 2024
Wednesday Feb 14, 2024
Dedeker is back after more than four years and an entire pandemic! As always, there's so much to get out of this beautiful conversation without listening to round one first (Episode 104).
Dedeker digs into the transitions and shifts in her own relational journey, including a moment of monogamy and the journey she's been on rekindling a partnership from over a decade ago. One of the things we love about talking with Dedeker about is how seamlessly she weaves humor and wisdom together into powerful and relatable lessons for all of us. Don't skip this one or you'll miss out on all of that plus one of the greatest confessionals we've ever had on the show!
Dedeker is one of the co-hosts of the Multiamory podcast, a relationship coach, writer, and advocate for polyamory and non-traditional relationships. She is the author of The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory: Everything You Need to Know about Open Relationships, Non-Monogamy, and Alternative Love and the co-author of Multiamory: Essential Tools for Modern Relationships. Learn more about all her work at www.dedekerwinston.com.
Wednesday Feb 07, 2024
Wednesday Feb 07, 2024
Courtney is back after more than 150 episodes to give us an update on all the ways he's been finding himself and crushing life over the last three years! This is such an amazing conversation about how we are all constantly changing and evolving in how we relate to one another, and to ourselves. While we definitely recommend listening to Courtney's first interview on Episode 165, this conversation stands on its own and is so powerful. Enjoy!
Also! Courtney is the founder and director of an incredible non-profit called Something Positive for Positive People. SPFPP is dedicated to supporting individuals living with herpes using holistic approaches. They focus on navigating the complexities of stigma and relationships associated with the virus. Their mission is to provide stigma-free communication skills and other resources to sexual health service providers, including therapists, nurses, sex educators, and public health professionals. And! Courtney is organizing a virtual Herpes Stigma Conference on May 23, 2024. Get your ticket here!
Wednesday Jan 31, 2024
Wednesday Jan 31, 2024
Jess and Tyler have been together nearly a decade and have been married for about six years. A few years back, the idea of opening their relationship came up in quite an exciting fashion!
Jess and Tyler take us through how they overcame their abrupt entry into the world of non-monogamy and how they used it as an opportunity to grow closer and to be more authentically themselves. What started out as a way for Jess to explore her sexuality grew into a whole new way of creating a partnership filled with love and expansiveness.
Jess is also a licensed therapist and relationship coach who loves working with those who choose a less conventional path. You can learn more about her and her work on her website www.bothandcoaching.com.
Friday Jan 26, 2024
Friday Jan 26, 2024
Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month!
Today's questions are about navigating a polyamorous breakup while you're in a don't ask, don't tell (DADT) dynamic AND advice for a couple who have differing needs in terms of emotional connection with new partners before having sex.
If YOU have a question, we'd love to hear it! Please, ask us anything by clicking here!
We are super excited to be partnering with Meshai for the Ask Us Anything episodes! She first appeared on the podcast on Episode 233 and we're honored to have her back!
Meshai is relationship coach with the team at Expansive Connection. She believes in the power of living as one’s authentic self, and the freedom that comes from changing perspectives. She loves putting the puzzle pieces of a couple's sexual energy together and aiding them in positive and explorative movement.
Her coaching work implements creative synergy, openness, self-expression, and the confrontation of challenges through self-determination. She helps individuals from diverse populations move forward with their goals while being fully aware that trauma can play on the whole person.
Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy.
You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I am also working towards completing a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute and will be finished in late spring 2024.
Wednesday Jan 24, 2024
Wednesday Jan 24, 2024
Carrie has been married for over 17 years, has kids, and is in a polyamorous relationship… Yet, this conversation is less about where she is today and more about the beautiful and intentional path that led her there. Carrie takes us deep into her incredibly powerful journey of healing and truly getting to know and accept herself.
The divorce from her first husband led her on a spiritual journey of healing and ultimately inspired her first open relationship in 2004. Later, when she met her current husband they shared openly about their mutual desire for a non-monogamous partnership, even though they set off on an intentionally monogamous path for the next decade as they built a home and family together. Then, a few years ago she met someone…
Carrie Jeroslow is an international best-selling author, relationship diversity advocate, speaker, intuitive, and podcaster. She loves helping people learn the tools to relate consciously to themselves and others. She believes that when we learn and accept who we truly are, we are able to be more authentic in our relationships with others, which in turn brings an unparalleled sense of fulfillment to our lives as a whole.
We highly recommend checking out all of her powerful work on her website www.carriejeroslow.com where you can find her podcast, books, and all of the other ways Carrie is changing the world!