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Hi! We’re Emma and Fin! We’re a married couple in our thirties who have been exploring non-monogamy for over 15 years. Every week we interview people from across the spectrums of gender, sexuality, and relationship styles to hear their amazing stories. Many of our guests identify as swingers or polyamorous. However, quite a few have redefined non-monogamy in their own way by creating a unique dynamic that works for them. We hope that by giving a voice to the diverse community exploring non-monogamy that we can show people they are not alone and inspire them to embrace their true selves so that, together, we can open minds and live authentically without shame. We hope you enjoy the show and who knows, maybe someday you’ll even be up for sharing your own story. We’d love to hear it!
Episodes
Friday Sep 22, 2023
Friday Sep 22, 2023
Quick episode announcing the our new Ask Us Anything episodes!
Fin is teaming up with Meshai from Expansive Connection coaching to answer all of your non-monogamy related questions!
Your question will be played on the podcast.
Keep your question to 2 minutes or less.
Do not use names or identifying information about people.
Please be in a quiet place when you record.
This helps ensure the highest audio quality possible.
Thank you!
Keep your question to 2 minutes or less.
Do not use names or identifying information about people.
Please be in a quiet place when you record.
This helps ensure the highest audio quality possible.
Thank you!
Wednesday Sep 20, 2023
Wednesday Sep 20, 2023
This is one of those interviews you'll listen to over and over... Chaneé is absolutely full of incredible experience and wisdom. She is a 36 year old, black, pansexual, polyamorous mom, wife, partner, event planner, coach, and educator. She grew up in an evangelical Christian family and ultimately started questioning who she wanted to be in the world around the time she was 19.
Fast forward a few years and she and her now-husband opened their relationship pretty much from the beginning and then, accidentally found themselves in their first triad. Over the last decade, Chaneé has dedicated herself to researching, understanding, and teaching the world about polyamory and non-monogamy.
One of the things we love about Chaneé's work is that her teaching is not theoretical. It is extremely practical and pragmatic, as you will hear in this conversation when she talks about what "good communication" actually means. And how to practice it.
Please support all of Chaneé's work by checking out her LinkTree. And, please remember to pre-order your copy of A Polyamory Devotional!
Wednesday Sep 13, 2023
Wednesday Sep 13, 2023
Lauren and Lars have been together for about 20 years and decided to open their marriage about five years ago. They initially opened slowly at a pace they both felt safe with. They used their weekly date nights to read and study The Ethical Slut and they got super intentional about their relationship and getting connected before they dove in. And then... Dive right in, they did!
Lauren and Lars are pretty active in the swinging lifestyle and also blur the lines a bit between friends and more. One of the things we love about our conversation is how they embrace the power of human connection, regardless of labels. We also have some beautiful conversations about what the early days of opening up looked like for them when they weren't exactly sure what they were wanting, or what was even available.
Bringing it around full circle, Lauren is now a lifestyle coach who works with people of all orientations who are interested in the lifestyle and consensual non-monogamy. She's a trained co-active coach and has completed Gottman Level 1 Training, as well. Please check out her website to learn more!
Wednesday Sep 06, 2023
Wednesday Sep 06, 2023
Natalie and her husband have been exploring non-monogamy for over 25 years. They initially opened their marriage as they were redesigning it after it was rocked by an infidelity. For about the first decade they explored swinging and dating together. When her husband got deployed, they decided to give polyamory a try and it opened a whole new world for both of them.
Natalie shares honestly and vulnerably with us about the challenges, and the powerful beauty, of her decades long journey of exploring who she is through non-monogamy. She talks about how she's developed beautiful metamour relationships, built community so her partners aren't her only support system, and how she's built a home that now includes her husband's partner cohabitating with them.
Still not enough for you?! Perfect! Head over to Natalie's Medium account where you can read so much more about her adventures!
Wednesday Aug 30, 2023
Wednesday Aug 30, 2023
We absolutely love this conversation! So much of this episode is about the never ending journey of trying to figure out how to embrace who you truly are and how to love others for who they are.
As Casey was growing up, she often had different interests than many of her friends and people around her. She learned quickly to stuff those desires down and developed a lot of shame around who she was.
Casey started dating and got into her first relationship when she was a junior in college. However, she found herself struggling to maintain monogamous commitments and often ended up cheating or pursuing serial monogamy. Neither of which felt good to her, or were the ways she wanted to be relating to people she cares for and loves.
About a decade ago, she entered into a partnership that was open from the very beginning. She and her partner worked together to open slowly in a way that worked for them and gave her the space to process some of the shame that she had been carrying for her whole life.
Casey is now embracing and exploring her queerness and her polyamorous journey in her personal life and in her professional life. Taken directly from her website www.caseycalvert.com, "I realized that I really liked the part of me that I tried to keep hidden from the world, and I wanted to share her with more people. So I started moving away from topless glamour shoots to fully nude fetish. But that wasn’t enough. The exhibitionist in me wanted more. Hardcore porn was the next step."
Besides being an inspiration in her personal and relational lives, she does the same as a porn performer, content creator, writer, director, and producer. She works closely with Erika Lust and ListCinema to produce fantastic feminist porn and sex-positive content. Her latest project is a series called Primary, which tells the stories of multiple people exploring polyamory in an honest and sexy way. We encourage you to please go check out and support all of Casey's work.
Wednesday Aug 23, 2023
Wednesday Aug 23, 2023
Bree is a queer, polyamorous, Chicana in her mid-thirties who is also a mother of two toddlers and has been married about a decade. Oh! And, she also has a boyfriend of almost two years. She's had a non-monogamous approach to relating as long as she can remember, but started being intentional about how she approached it when she met her now-husband in college.
Bree and her husband slowly opened their relationship and began exploring from the very beginning. The initial stages were mostly making out with friends and crushes, but over time it grew into polyamorous connections for them both. In this beautiful interview, she shares with us the benefits of having different types of relationships and how they meet different needs and allow her and her husband to experience more of who they are in ways they never had.
Bree is also an imagination coach, which is a title we absolutely love! She helps people and couples imagine what their relationships and lives can be through pulling together unique ways of looking at all aspects of who we are and challenging norms. Please go check out her work and learn more at www.baeleche.com.
Wednesday Aug 16, 2023
Wednesday Aug 16, 2023
Jeannie's story is an absolutely beautiful one. She had what she felt was an "average" or "normal" sex life until she was in her mid-twenties and then she felt her libido shut down. It became really apparent to her when she moved in with her boyfriend (now husband).
This set her off on a journey of trying to reclaim and unlock the sexual person she felt she was. We are so grateful for her vulnerability in taking us behind the scenes into the really powerful and hard work she has done both individually, and with her husband. Oh, and spoiler alert... Her boyfriend of two years plays a part in the story as well!
About a decade ago Jeannie and her husband started discussing the idea of non-monogamy and opening their marriage. After four years of talking about it, they took their first steps. They opened their marriage. Then, one of them unexpectedly fell in love and they ended up closing their relationship to do some more work together before opening back up. As Jeannie describes it, she went through a huge mindset shift in how she thinks about love, which opened up new ways for her to approach relationships.
One of the best parts of all of this... Jeannie wrote a memoir detailing the whole journey. It's a combination of powerful epiphanies and some super sexy and powerful experiences. You can find out more at www.summerofsexiness.com. We hope you enjoy her book and this conversation!
Wednesday Aug 09, 2023
Wednesday Aug 09, 2023
Chloe and Drew met in high school, got married shortly after graduating, and then had to grow up fast when their daughter passed away. Sadly, the grieving process opened the door for each of them to emotionally neglect their relationship. This led to an emotional affair, which ultimately ended with the two of them redesigning their entire relationship.
This conversation is a snapshot of where these two are at after years of intense work on themselves and on their partnership. Spoiler alert... They have made monumental changes in how they love through their relationship and life together. Not only were we struck by how much has changed, but this interview is full, from start to finish, with practical and actionable strategies they have used. The way the two of them used a seemingly stupid game on their phone to develop empathy for one another is so beautiful, as is how they approach boundaries, and communicating with their children.
Stop reading this and start listening. You will be glad you did. Enjoy.
Wednesday Aug 02, 2023
Wednesday Aug 02, 2023
Nikki and Michael have known each other since they were teenagers, have been together 27 years, and married for 20. They've also both been in the performing arts community for over 30 years. Their initial exposure a few years ago to exploring sexuality and connection outside of their relationship came through incidental and even some accidental experiences they had as part of that community.
We love how Nikki and Michael take us through their journey in a very honest and vulnerable way. For them, it wasn't glamorous, romantic, or sexy in the beginning. In fact, the glamour wore off quickly for them as they realized it's about the human connection. It's about self-growth and learning about who you are, questioning your past and the scripts we're taught, and understanding the world around you. And, it can also be really hard, yet, extraordinarily beautiful and powerful.
Nikki and Michael also took their 30+ years of experience in theatre, combined it with what they have learned about themselves, consent, sexuality, and life through their experiences in non-monogamy, and created an interactive play called Compersion! While we have not had the opportunity to experience it ourselves, we highly encourage you to check it out! It sounds incredible and unlike anything we have ever heard of. You can learn more at www.steamyromantics.com.
Wednesday Jul 26, 2023
Wednesday Jul 26, 2023
Fernanda grew up in Mexico and moved to the US in 2016. She knew about the concept of non-monogamy before that, but her first real-life exposure came when she met someone at the airport when she landed in New York City and lost her wallet. They became friends and he introduced her to his Burning Man community, many of whom are non-monogamous. She spent a few years exploring variations of non-monogamy on her own before she met her current partner about five years ago. He was, and still is, monogamous. She is not.
We have a wonderful conversation with her about how they slowly opened their partnership and how it has evolved over the last few years. We are so grateful for Fernanda's transparency and willingness to share how they navigate their version of a Don't Ask, Don't Tell (DADT) partnership and how they have co-created the rules and boundaries, even when it didn't always feel great to one or both of them.
Fernanda is also the host of the Polycurious podcast and a relationship coach who primarily works with people who are also exploring non-monogamy. The best place to find her work is on her Instagram page. Check it out!